columbiaguy06

Valentine's Day...Again!

2007-02-15T17:33:41Z

So yesterday was Valentine's Day.

Why does one of the most commercial holidays have to be so incredibly depressing, every year?

So who is this St. Valentine anyway, and what does he have to do with February 14th? I did some research so if you don't know, here's the history. So, St. Valentine was a Priest that lived in the 3rd Century A.D. under the Emperor Claudius. Claudius didn't like marriage very much so he outlawed it. Apparently marriage was affecting the morale of his troops abroad. Enter St. Valentine, he secretly married couples under this outlaw. When Claudius found out he arrested Valentine and sentenced him to death. The married couples went to give gifts to Valentine while he was jailed, and as a thank you, Valentine wrote letters back that said "From your Valentine." Valentine was executed on, guess what the date was. Yes that's right, February the 14th.

So all the Hallmarks, and chocolate companies, and Victoria's Secrets of the world sure love to make billions of dollars off of a commemorated death. People don't even really know what the holiday means anymore, it's been stretched and thinned until it's meat has all but disappeared.

All the while, every year, despite how meaningless spending money on roses and chocolates has been made to be, I still get depressed on Valentine's Day. Why does everyone but me seem to have a Valentine....?

Interesting Stuff

2006-04-18T22:36:54Z

Hello Everyone. Lots of stuff has happened since my last entry. I don't know where to even start. 3 major things are going on I guess:

1. School: The semester is wrapping up fast. 3 papers left to finish in Asian History. I have to edit my final film in Image Design (editing it traditionally on the block with a razor). I have to start rehearsals and finish performances in my Directing 1 class. The semester is over in less than a month, yet I have so much to do in class. I'm gonna go crazy.

2. Housing: My contract with the Columbia Dorms is up at the end of the semester. that means I have unitl about May 12th to find a new place to leave. Originally the plan was to live with Axel, Hilary and Katey. Long story short, I guess Katey won't be living with us anymore, she doesn't want to stay here over the summer. Hilary's decided not to live with Katey but to stay with Axel and I, so I hope that everything goes okay with telling Katey. We're looking for apartments now...Wish us luck!

3. Relationships: I've just ended the shortest relationship of my life. Well actually I didn't end it, Amanda did. I suppose I don't blame her, she has quite a load of baggage that she needs to deal with. She needs to make herself happy before she can make anyone else happy. Nevertheless, I've been pretty depressed lately over it. I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong. Over and over again I find myself in bad situations when it comes to women. I want to be in a relationship...but I need to find the right person. Someone smart, stable, humorous, and convicted. LOl, I don't know what I'm doing...

That's my life recently in a nutshell.

New Years

2006-01-01T10:13:50Z

Happy New Year everyone! It's now 2006 officially more than halfway through this decade.

It's really crazy how fast 2005 went by. Wow, time flies when you're busy and stressed. Even though this last semester kicked my ass, I survived and have a few films to show for it. I felt very unmotivated and lazy this last year, I dunno why. But overall I think this year was a positive one for me. I want to make this year as positive and even more productive.

I wish the same for you all. Make the best of 2006, don't do anything you'll regret, Do things that will make you and your friends smile, tell your loved ones that you love them, and have fun.

This is Jesse Signing Off-

One week left

2005-12-11T03:23:42Z

Christmas Break starts officially at the end of this next week. I have to finish editing my final film for Monday so I can make my appointment to mix the soundtrack. Then later on Monday, I perform my final scene from "Tape" in Acting Techniques. Turn in my Film on wednesday, and on Thursday I get my remaining speeches done in Speech. Then I have to get the DVD package done for Verbatim to send all those DVD's out. Busy week. hopefully I won't freak out.

Thanksgiving

2005-11-30T19:05:06Z

Thanksgiving was awesome! Wednesday Axel and I spent the whole evening cooking things that could be cooked ahead of time. We made 4 pies (2 pumpkin, 1 cherry, and 1 pecan). Then we made the mashed potatoes...

*DIGRESSION: I recently learned that Potatoes infact turn out to be tubers which happen to be vegetables, incase anyone ever wanted to know. So the food pyramid put a starchy vegetable in the bread section because of its carbs. Hmmmm, potato sandwich anyone? END DIGRESSION*

...Thanksgiving day came and Axel basically took over the kitchen, I barely prepared any food, but I did clean the apartment and set the table real fancy like, with candles nontheless. We had turkey rubbed with sage, asparagus, green salad, flaky biscuits, cranberry sauce, turkey juice gravy, macaroni and cheese, stuffing, mashed potatoes, corn on the cob, ambrosia, and pies. It was damn good.

Marlin and his twin sister Marlina came over. Axel's cool friend Judah came over. Also my Aunt and Cousin joined us. It turned out to be a great time, and delicious eating. So it was a really Great thanksgiving, couldn't have asked for abetter one.

:)

This Sucks

2005-11-17T17:57:10Z

So right now, I have NO EQUIPMENT, NO CREW, and I shoot at 5:30 tonight! What am I supposed to do? I have no way of reserving. Problem after problem presents itself on this damn film. I don't even want to make it anymore. I feel like I'm alone and noone is trying to help.

Even the rental house stopped talking to me, they moved on to other customers and stopped taking me seriously because I didn't have enough for a security deposit. They won't even work with me on it. $2000! What the hell? The $300 rental I can handle, but not the security deposit. My parents couldn't help, and I am out of options. My last hope is that someone responds at the last minute from my mass e-mail out to the IFL members and my Production 2 classmates.

Long Time, No Write

2005-11-14T00:41:12Z

Because of increasing pressure from the public, I have returned to write another installment of my life.

The semester is nearly over, just about 4-5 more weeks to go. It has been a pretty tough semester, Mainly because of Production II. I have Production II and two other classes, but Production II requires 14 hours a week of homework. Then pile just two other classes on that and you get a nice bowl of fat free stress. My final film is due in a few weeks and I had to postpone shooting because my leading man bailed on me and I was unable to replace the actor. Student filmmakers get hardly any respect, what am I gonna have to do to prove myself? Make "Schindler's List"?

I'm still single and looking. I miss my friends back in Florida. But I still have some good friends up here, Axel my roommate rocks. He's a great guy and I couldn't have asked for a better roommate for this year. My old roommate Jaime, is helping me with my final film. And marlin visits me almost everyday to say hi and hang out for a while.

So I guess things aren't so bad. I'm just majorly stressed. I need this semester to be over.

In Florida...

2005-08-24T04:50:07Z

In Florida the summer air steeps the sweat from your pores while you're standing still. I'd forgotten how humid and hot it gets here. While I was in Chicago, it felt comparable to what I remembered Florida air was. I am quite wrong. Florida is, by all means, worse in that regard.

I took my parents' brand new Volkswagon to Orlando and promptly bashed in the back left corner (bumper, tail light, fender) on an unseen light pole in a gas station parking lot. I hate gas stations. At least I didn't hit another car. Wow, I'm an airhead.

While in Orlando, I visited with Vik and got some movie things done. He's working on a new independent feature, and I helped him flesh out a story and possible style for the script. I'm a little excited to help him realize the film.

I fly back to Chicago on September 4th. I start Fall classes two days later. I have a feeling that this next semester will be very interesting. I hope that interesting is a good interesting.

This is Pretty Funny

2005-07-14T01:13:48Z

I got this from my friend Lauren's sugarshell </span>journal. Thought it was funny enough to put in mine for you all to enjoy.

I hope I'm one of these nice guys, because I've experienced 90% of the things in this entry...

2005-07-12T00:51:44Z

This kicks Ass:

This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.

The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.

Film Ideas

2005-07-08T08:30:44Z

So the last couple weeks, I've been talking with my friend Matt about developing a feature film script. He originally wrote a short script (called Ruligan) about a character caught up in the middle of a bad relationship with his girlfriend and a zombie invasion. I loved the character and the idea so much that I asked him if he would like to develop it into a feature film. He enthusiastically agreed. So we started brainstorming.

We both wanted it to be different, after all, there have been so many incarnations lately of the zombie genre that it's kinda hard to make an original and compelling zombie film. But I know it's possible. So in these early stages we are just brainstorming ideas about the plot, and characters. Tonight I was chatting with him over AIM and we both decided that perhaps we should come up with ideas for other feature films and then come back and go through them with eachother, find the ones we like, maybe we'll come up with something better than Ruligan. But we won't abandon Ruligan, perhaps it'll be easier and less expensive to film a drama or comedy about people and not monsters.

We are talking about pitching this idea with a proposal package, not just the script. Lion's Gate Films does low budget independent style films and distributes them nationally, so LGF could be a good studio to pitch too. My film buddies and I have always talked about the day we would do a feature. Well, why not get going on it now? I'm gonna stop talking about it, and do it. I have nothing to lose. As soon as I'm done with school, another year and a half I hope, I'm making a feature film.

When will I ever Learn?

2005-07-05T04:27:07Z

Well the last week has been pretty good for me until today. Today really sucked. Let me explain, and complain, isn't that what these journals are for anyway?

A few days ago Karis text messaged me, telling me she was in the Hospital. I went to visit her on Friday and brought her breakfast, flowers, and a card. I stayed with her for 4 hours just visiting, she was in such a good mood, "because of you" she told me. She told me again several times that day that she loved me. But according to her we were still just "really really good friends". So anyway, that night she was released from the hospital and asked me to come over to her place because she was lonely.

So I went over, even though it was late. We both had a nice night with eachother, and then I spent the whole day with her the next day. I went with her to the hospital pharmacy early in the morning for moral support. We waited in line for 2 hours. I went with her to get new city stickers for her car. I took a long nap with her (hardly any sleep the night before). And she took me home that night, I spent 24 hours with her, and it felt really good. We had made plans that she would have me spend the night again on Sunday and then I'd make her pancakes on Monday Morning and then go to the Taste of Chicago together (The last day) and then to Navy Pier for the Fireworks.

So Sunday rolls around, and I recieve no calls from her. I call her a couple times, until I finally get a call later around 9 or 10. She's been in a bad mood because of a family run in, and didn't want to talk to anyone. So she didn't talk to anyone, even me who she made plans with. She asked, "You still want to go to Navy Pier tomorrow?" I said I did. She said "cool" and that was the end of that call.

So today I half expect a call from her. Silly me. I texted her, "What r up to right now?" I got a text message back around 3:30,"I'm in Jackie's house cuz im not feeling good". Oh really? She didn't feel good so she decided to go to Jackie's? What the Hell? Alright, yes she was in the hospital for a major bacterial infection, I understand that. But why did I have to contact her before she was gonna tell me that she was feeling like shit? I messaged her again, "Well let me know if you still want to go with me today". I got nothing back. I called and left a message on her phone, and got no call back, it is now 11:00 PM, and I've heard nothing from the girl. This leads me to believe that the "not feeling good" was just an excuse to cover up something else. What it could be I dunno. But I'm getting really fed up.

So this made me really re-evaluate myself and how I am relating to her. It always made me mad when I heard about a woman in an abusive relationship, where the man hurts her emotionally, or physically, or both, and she continues to come back to him regardless of the damage. "But I love him!" She would say. Why? Because he beats the shit out of you? So I'm relating that to my situation, and perhaps I'm beginning to understand how those women think in a way. No matter what that girl does to hurt me, intentional or not, I always end up coming back to be with her? WHY? I still love her? Maybe, I'm not sure. I know I definitely like her. Because when I am with her she makes me feel so damn happy. What am I supposed to do? I dunno...I dunno...I dunno. All I know is she ruined my 4th of July, and there was noone else to hang out with becuase they already had plans or were out of town.

And I already knew this...

2005-07-05T03:32:56Z

So here's what I got on a George W. Bush Test.

Pretty fucked
17 is your Fuckedness Number! Crazy!

You're pretty fucked for the next four years. Why? I don't know, maybe it's because you're actually smart and have real actual morals, and not just the fake Christian kind. Maybe you're a minority. Whatever the reason, you've got fairly high levels of fuckedness. Prepare yourself. It's gonna be a rough 4 years.

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 97% on Fuckedness

Link: The How Fucked by Bush You Are Test written by leelander on Ok Cupid

I miss my friends

2005-06-26T23:45:32Z

So I just had one of the best weeks I've had in a long while. My friends Kaison and Sarah came up here to Illinois to visit with me, and I did a bit of travelling myself. First they flew into Chicago and I picked them up at O'Hare. I showed them around the city a bit, and then we took Amtrak down to Sarah's Mom's house in Centralia. Centralia is a small farming town near Salem, it is pretty rural and the house we stayed at was definitely out in the country in the middle of corn fields.

POTATO GUN! BONFIRES! BIKE RIDES ON OLD DIRT ROADS! SMORES! FIREWORKS! And more...

These things the three of us did and we had the time of our lives. I can't wait to do it again!

Sarah's Mom is awesome. She cooked food for us, gave us stuff to burn, hung out with us, got us fireworks! I mean how cool is that? Oh and Ronnie is cool too, he gave us stuff to burn. I am officially a pyro and ballistics amateur now. I want to burn stuff and shoot potatos for a living.

So now I'm kinda sad, back in Chicago. There's nowhere to shoot potatos without being arrested, and the fireworks would be even worse. Alas. There's always next time...

Another "Karis" Entry

2005-06-22T05:52:24Z

So today I woke up a little late. As usual, I get up between 11 and 1. I had class today at 1:30. I checked my phone because it rang while I was asleep and I didn't move to pick it up. To get my phone when I'm in bed I have to wake up, climb out of bed and go to my desk. By then they have already gone to voicemail. It was my Aunt Pat, she calls in the morning all the time. I listened to the voicemail, and then after I hung up the voicemail, I saw that I had to text messages. Both of them were from Karis. #1: "Baby, wake up!" #2: "I love you!". I sat and stared at #2 for a while. Then I texted her back. "You still love me?" I have to admit I'm still a little bit hung up on her, and was a little excited at the message. A couple minutes rolled by and i got #3: "Yes i love you, and miss you so much. But i don't want a relationship right now!".

Okay, so I didn't answer that one. I just sorta shrugged it off, but not after thinking, why torture me like that. Why tell me you love me and then snatch it back like that. Essentially that's what it is, "I love you, but you can't have me..." So anyway, that kinda stung a bit. Alas.

How'd they come up with that?

2005-05-24T21:09:52Z

So I saw Episode III

2005-05-21T00:46:27Z

Last night I went ans Saw Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the SIth. I thought it was pretty good, I liked it alot. There were many emorable scenes, and good Lines. Boy was it a dark foreboding movie. I'd put it up there with Episode V: Empire Strike Back, I think it's that good. It was definitely a hell of a lot better than the last two prequels that came out. Part of the improvement, was of course the tie in with the original three movies, and the performances that Ian Mcdiarmand, Ewan Macgreggor, and Hayden Christensen gave. Anakin definitely wasn't the whiney teen he was in the lat film.

I can't believe there won't be any more Star Wars films, I've always taken it for granted that there would be another one coming. but not any more. Oh well, I have 6 of them to enjoy!

Stuff

2005-05-08T22:19:38Z

So things are wrapping up. It's towards the end of the year, one more month of school then I start right in on Summer session. I have one more film to make before the end, and some papers to write, so I'll be busy until the end. I'll be taking Lighting I this summer because it's the only class that I can afford. Hopefully, the housing department recieved my application for housing for next year. I am getting kicked out of my apartment in August due to a realigning contract with Columbia and other colleges. They won't allow me to renew my lease...the bastards. So I need somewhere to live, August on...I'm getting worried.

I knew I got some wrong but I did pretty good

2005-05-03T20:04:15Z

Well done! You got 66% of the quotes right.

All these quotes are taken from movies that are on the top #250 of IMDB's All Time Top List. So if you didn't get all quotes right, maybe it's time to catch up on these classics.

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 20% on Movie Knowledge

Link: The Movie Quotes Test written by atalya_waves on Ok Cupid

Old Friends

2005-05-03T19:21:23Z

So I started talking to my old friend from high school, Tegan. It feels really good to rekindle friendships that have faded away over time. Talking with her allowed some very fond memories resurface from over 3 years ago. Wow, it's really been that long...crazy. I'll be 22 in September, I'm really growing up, college will be done in 2 years I hope, so I'll be on my own. God that's scary...

Well It's official

2005-05-02T00:25:06Z

After a long history of flaking out on me in our relationship. After stringing me along for heartache after heartache..it's done. Karis ended it for good, and I'm not chasing her anymore. I'm not going to try to fix it. She cites family problems as a reason that she can't cope with a relationship right now.

"look jesse.....forgeret about ME!.."
"i've to many things on my head right now im not gonna be able to make u happy!.........SORRY"
"right now i've to many problems w/ my family.....im fucking mad w/ everybody!...........im just triying to find a way to desapear................"

She wants to move from Chicago. I told her I'd be her friend, but I doubt she'll talk to me again. She ignored me as a boyfriend probably waiting for me to get tired. What she doesn't realize is to the degree that I care for her. Why I held on for so long. And I did get tired, I did give up. I'm too tired to even be mad...well, maybe just a little....

I just want it to be over.

I've been sucked into OkCupid.com!

2005-04-25T00:27:46Z

Here is what my Ok Cupid test said I was. It's surprisingly accurate. I wonder how they use these questions to determine one's personality?

http://www.okcupid.com/personality?type=DGLD&g=1&o=1&h=175

In other news I finished shooting my second Production I project. It went well. Although people were burnt out today...especially Steve who I'm sure doesn't like me. He was mad at me today becuase I didn't heed ALL of his suggestions, and I used the 5th reel of film that was provided for the project. He wanted to use it to make a Kung Fu film. But alas I needed it, and he couldn't use it. He was sour all through the shoot. I'm not working with him again.

Oh man...

2005-04-19T05:57:53Z

Nobody comments anymore. I feel unloved...

The Car!

2005-04-16T18:09:16Z

My parents got into an accident lastnight...My Mom popped online pretty late for her and I asked her why she was up so late. She said "Checking the Kelly Blue Book value of the Focus. We got rearended tonight." I was rather rattled, but apparently it was my Mom and Dad in the car, and they're alright, sore, but alright, no fractures, just bruised muscles. teh car is another story. thank god it's a station wagon because the whole back compartment is pretty much gone. And what's worse is the fact that they were hit twice. How this woman in the SUV managed that is beyond everyone, but yet she did, she hit them twice. Fuck...

My sister was at her Senior Prom lastnight. I hope she had a nice time, She never talks to me anymore.She always busy and never returns my phone calls. I would go to her high school graduation, but I have class that day. I can't miss that class, I'm paying for it...dearly.

Karis comes home from her trip to San Diego and Mexico. I've missed her. Hopefully things will be fresh in our relationship now. We get to start over she says. We'll see.

And here is a sample of how I speak according to some guy who made a quiz.

Your Linguistic Profile:

65% General American English

20% Yankee

10% Dixie

5% Upper Midwestern

0% Midwestern

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

Tonight was Good

2005-04-07T07:33:47Z

Lately, Karis' sociability towards me has been less then friend like. She said we would hang out and then she never called, and didn't apologize until I said "hey" to her online, and even then she avoided me. signing off after long periods of ignoring me. I was beginning to think that our short but intense relationship was coming to a close.

I am so glad that I was wrong. Tonight was out one month anniversary of "being together". Although technically since she dumped me it hasn;t been a month. But nevertheless, I felt compelled to ask her out to dinner. She accepted and we went to eat Mexican, mmmmmmmmmm. I had a good time, and she seemed to aswell. I had told her on the phone that I wanted to have a talk with her, and she asked me on the way from the restaurant what I wanted to talk about. She was worried what it could be. I suppose this is proof that she really did mean it when she told me she cared for me, even if she didn't do much to show it.

We had the talk. it started out roughly, and we were silent for a good 5 minutes. Then she asked me what I was thinking. I told her I wanted tio know where she thought our relationship was going. "I don't know" she said. this was her answer to everything. Until I coaxed out the truth behind all the drama for the past 2 weeks. So sorry to leave you hanging, but the truth is for me and her to know, and you to guess. Suffice to say that even more nasty emotions were thrown about after this, and then we decided on what to do. Apparently, we will be friends, until she comes back from Mexico (her brother's Wedding) and then we will start with a fresh slate. Brand new relationship. We both agree that we feel much better. She now knows that I am more forgiving than she thought, and I now know the truth behind her behavior.

Things are good.